Since entering the query trenches about six weeks ago, I have received nine rejections. Two of which were personalized rejections. I have queried roughly 35 agents as of writing this post. I rewrote my query letter between batch one and two which is when I received the personalized rejections. About half of my queries have expired because the agents have it posted that if you don’t receive a response from them within six weeks it’s a pass. Additionally, many of the agencies out there have policies that if it is a pass from one agent, it’s a pass from the agency. So, that eliminates a lot of prospective agents as soon as that pass comes in. It’s normal for authors to query dozens upon dozens of agents, even a hundred agents, before they get that one yes and that one yes is all that’s needed. However, staying in the game long enough to get that one yes isn’t for the weak.
My manuscript, Tomorrow, Oblivion, has been hindered from the start. First, it’s written in second person which isn’t popular for a reason. On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong is an excellent example of a novel written in second person that was picked up by Penguin Press in 2019. It’s a remarkable work of art that tells the story through the structure of a letter. Because second person is uncommon and generally disliked by the publishing/book industry, that stylistic choice helped Ocean Vuong break through traditional publishing. Books written in second person without that type of storytelling technique are extremely rare, which made finding comp titles a nightmare.
Tomorrow, Oblivion isn’t told through the guise of a letter. It’s straight second person which worked for my manuscript. Early on, I rewrote the first chapter in first and third person because that’s industry standard, but they were lacking what the second person brought to the page. Ultimately, I went forward with second person and in no way do I regret that decision. The story is the way I wanted it to be.
While authors should take in mind industry standards and genre conventions, writing is an art and authors should make artistic decisions that make them happy with their manuscript. It’s those independent decisions about how we tell stories that make them unique in a world of repetitive tropes and genres that sometimes feel like their all the same. There are formulas to follow, but we make them our own through artistic choices implemented in our craft. Second person was my artistic choice with Tomorrow, Oblivion.
The second hindrance that my manuscript is facing in the querying trenches is my word count. I am well above where I ought to be as a debut* author. The traditional publishing sphere is leaning toward shorter books that fall around the 80,000 word mark for literary fiction debuts. Shorter books are less financial risk for publishers. Especially when those authors don’t already have a platform of dedicated readers. Tomorrow, Oblivion is approximately 114,000 words. The way it’s written, there are chapters that could be plucked out to shorten that word count, but I’d still be around 105,000 words and the story would then be missing key emotional beats.
When I did my final revision prior to querying, I went through and deleted all of the unnecessary words (my crutch words are that and had). I condensed sentences and paragraphs to make them a bit more concise. I deleted scenes that didn’t serve multiple purposes. I eliminated characters who weren’t relevant. I did everything I could to tighten my draft. But there is a lot going on in Tomorrow, Oblivion that I feel is necessary for the emotional beats of the MCs character arc. In truth, I feel prepared to justify each scene’s relevance; prepared to justify every scene, every sentence, every word. Everything is doing something; which means I can’t reduce my word count without yet another rewrite eliminating something that I find critical to the story.
Agents work on a manuscript with an author prior to submission, and that is their time given for free in the event the book doesn’t sell to a publisher, so what agent is going to rep a book that’s 35,000 words above a threshold? In short, I don’t think there are any. An agent I queried, who specifically allows for literary fiction debuts up to 120,000 words, provided me with a personalized rejection letter. Paraphrasing her rejection letter, my problem is thus: Because I already am breaking a “rule” by writing in second person, my word count needs to fall into a more acceptable range. I can’t have my cake and eat it too, apparently. While I appreciate her thoughts on the matter and the time she took in addressing my query so thoughtfully and respectfully, I am not prepared to forgo so much of my story just to fit into a mold.
While it has always been my dream to have a book published by a traditional publisher and see it sitting in all its glory on a table at Barnes and Noble, I don’t know if it is necessarily the right path for me at this time and certainly not with this book.
Another aspect that is hurting me in the hunt for an agent is that I have previously self-published a women’s fiction novel. In March 2023, I self-published a novel that wasn’t right for traditional publishing for many reasons. The subject matter wasn’t something that anyone at the time wanted to read, and looking back, I’ll be the first to tell you that the book wasn’t worthy to be queried or published (not even self-published). It wasn’t ready. It needed a full rewrite, but I was unable to give it that attention because I was emotionally drained. It was essentially my therapy book, so it was exhausting going through the trauma. I pulled it from sale in December 2025 because I’m not proud of it and wish that I had given it the time and attention it needed. Fortunately, I did write it under a pen name, but still the fact that I self-published a book that didn’t have notable sales hurts me in querying.
With three red marks against me, I’m afraid that Tomorrow, Oblivion is dead in the water. Which means that now I am at a crossroads. Do I put Tomorrow, Oblivion on the shelf and write another book to query with in hopes that someday Tomorrow, Oblivion will see the light of day on a table at Barnes and Noble, or do I self-publish it?
If I shelve Tomorrow, Oblivion, and write something new, then I have to write to industry standards, which is fine. I do understand and respect that a book needs to be sellable and enjoyed by readers. But there is then no guarantee that Tomorrow, Oblivion will ever be read. It may sit on the shelf forever. And in truth, if I only ever had one story to tell that mattered to me, is it worth that risk?
Self-publishing means that my book will be available for sale regardless of industry standards. However, the likelihood of anyone reading or purchasing my book is next to none. Somehow, I need to get word out there that I have a book. I’ll need to attend conventions and book signings (which would be amazing, but I don’t know where to start with finding an appropriate convention because everything is genre-specific).
Whichever path of publishing, marketing would largely fall on me, but I lose the clout of being traditionally published. My social media is abysmal. I have 74 followers on an Instagram account I’ve had for nearly two years, and most of those followers are people I know in real life which is embarrassing. I’m a pretty awkward person in general, so the thought of having everyone I know see videos of me talking to my camera like I’m someone special is agonizing. Plus, the one time I did post a video of myself talking on camera, the only comments I got were men telling me to go to the gym and making similar body-shaming comments, and my self-esteem can’t handle that at this juncture. Posting a reel to social media with me talking to the camera or showing myself in motion is akin to running down the street naked. So, what do I do to help drive sales? The short answer is that I need to get comfortable with being cringy on social media and put myself out there in order to manifest my dreams.
I used to do a lot of graphic design for work and was the Chief Marketing Manager for a US-based restaurant chain. I am moderately confident in my ability to create a book cover that fits in with my genre as well as branded marketing materials. Faceless content is fine for me when promoting a product. It’s simply that human aspect that’s my issue.
As far as the admin aspect is concerned in order to self-publish I’ve got that handled. I know how to do the formatting and the uploading. The business filings etc. I have ISBNs already that are just waiting to be assigned. Pending a final proofread, the manuscript is ready for publishing. All I need to do is decide which direction to go.
Ultimately, I’m deciding to take a leap of faith and go the self-publishing route. I’ll do what I can to promote my book through social media and try to get local indie bookstores to stock my book. But ultimately, it’s not about the money for me, even though I could use the money just like everyone else could. Tomorrow, Oblivion is a story that I want to share with readers, so that’s what I’m going to endeavor to do.
For any aspiring authors out there who are looking to get traditionally published, please don’t lose hope! Stick it out, and the rest will follow. Self-publishing isn’t anyone’s last hope or last resort. This decision is one that I’ve been giving a lot of thought to and am comfortable with. Not because I feel my writing isn’t good enough for traditional publishing, and not because I think traditional publishers are evil or anything of the sort. Self-publishing is simply the way that I want to go because I feel it’s the right decision for my book and the books I want to write going forward.
I have another project up my sleeve that is also guiding this decision for me. I want to write a historical/cop/court drama, and many agents specifically state that they don’t represent cop/court dramas. So even if I got an agent for Tomorrow, Oblivion, I’d likely have to get a new agent for Justice Gone Awry (the working title for my next project). So there are many layers to my decision. Self-publishing isn’t a last resort for me. It’s simply what I feel is best for my circumstances.
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